Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Parental Alienation Education with Lee PAS Foundation
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Lee PAS Talkshoe Tonight 9pm EDT with Bessie Hudgins aka:MeMa!
You have been invited by Katrina Daniels Lee to join a live Community Call.The Lee PAS
Foundation's Community Call (Join in)Host: The Lee PAS Foundation - leepasfoundation@...
Episode: EPISODE50 - The Lee PAS Foundation with Bessie Hudgins Aka MeMa!
Founder of Three Sides to Every Story, Inc., Bessie Hudgins to be a guest on TheLee P.A.S. Foundation Talkshoe Bessie Hudgins ********** Katrina Daniels Lee Iwould like to invite everyone to join me on The Lee P.A.S. Foundation TalkshoeThursday Oct. 01, 2009 at 9:00 PM EST. Call or sign in Thursday night Oct. 01,2009 at 9pm EST www.talkshoe.com or dial 724-444-7444 Talkcast ID 26868.
Ourshow will explore Parental Alienation from an old woman's (victim's) view point.Katrina and I are gonna take a stab at giving you an idea of what Alienationdoes to a child from the beginning back in the late 1940's and travel the roadfor 61 years. I am a firm believer in experience being the best teacher, andeven though I would not wish these life experiences on anyone, I do believe that my experiences have made me who I am. I have also come to the conculsion that ifyour life feels like a bushel and a peck of lemons, you should take those sourlemons and make lemonade. My lemonade will be to open up my life longexperiences and share things that I pray will lead to helping those that struggle trying to understand. My Mother and I shared a bond that would bring ustogether in her last years. We never lived together when I was a child, thus shenever had a say in my raising, but the love we shared while living through allthe alienation and the bond she was able to implement in my first 2 years oflife was strong enough to bring us together before she was gone. I THANK GODALMIGHTY FOR THOSE 12 YEARS. So many times while we struggle to get through ourlives, we don't have a clue where some of our thoughts and beliefs come from. Inmy case it was a bond that my Mother gave the both of us before I was taken fromher. I wasn't taken by CPS or a jealous ex...my mother and I went separated byher second husband and his mother...as well as her very own mother. My Dad decided before I was born that he didn't want to be with us, in the middle of ahard winter in 1948 he kissed my mother good bye and left for work...never to beheard from again. I found his grave in Greasy Creek, Ky. after I was grown andhad 2 sons of my own. FINDING THE GRAVE OF A MISSING PARENT YOU HAVE NEVERMET...IS A HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE...NO ONE DESERVES TO FIND A MISSING PARENT ORGRANDPARENT THE WAY I FOUND MINE...NO ONE! I know that education in these areasof alienation and abuse can give psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist andcounselors an edge on how to handle families with these problems. However, I amof the firm belief that no one can fully understand the effects of alienation unless they themselves have lived through it and come out on the other side. I feel as if I have come out on the other side and I want to spend the rest of mylife trying to help families understand and live with what has happened to them...but most of all, I want to help parents and grandparents understand whychildren of alienation do what they do. God Speed Everyone!Call ID: 26868
Personal Message from the Host:Guias, the 18 yr old young man who was severely alienated, will be on the boardas well tonight for any questions you may have. Costs nothing but your time andopen minds!
Parental Alienation Often, one of the most damaging effects of a difficult,highly contested divorce is parental alienation. Parental alienation occurs whenone parent purposefully encourages a child to disengage with the other parentand/or denigrate the other parent. Typical methods include: badmouthing theparent, denying visitation rights through geographical relocation or othermeans, using the psychological threat of detachment, and withdrawing affectionand other tactics. The issue is extremely complex and difficult to assess --especially initially. For pre-school age or younger children, the harmfuleffects of parental alienation may not be apparent for several years. Newresearch studies showing the negative psychological effects of parentalalienation syndrome or PAS are receiving much greater attention as the divorcerate in the United States continues to exceed the 50% mark, and more and morefamilies are affected. Parent and Grandparent visitation have become commonconcerns. The courts recognize with increasing frequency the importance of thegrandparent relationship. Using experience and creativity, to find solutions tocreate and legally maintain grandparents relationship with their grandchildren.In a parental alienation situation when one parent uses tactics of hostilitywith a child, the dynamics of custody changes. A new custody evaluation may bein the best future interests of the child. Enlisting the legal advice of anexpert can help a parent with an alienated child evaluate their options andpursue the proper course of action. The most qualified family law attorneys arefamiliar with the latest research on the topic, have an extensive network ofexperts in the fields of child developmental psychology, the sociology ofrelationships, and have the knowledge of the relevant legal principles to assistthem in protecting and defending a parent's right to pursue a healthyrelationship with their child. It is vitally important that these matters arehandled with extreme sensitivity, care and professionalism to ensure the bestinterests of the child. The welfare of children is of utmost importance.Frequently, the children are forgotten as parents fight for child custody rightsand wage child custody battles. Responsible parents have the right to have apositive, loving relationship with their children. And, children deserve to growup in a psychologically healthy relationship with their parents. Too often childvisitation rights become the issues former spouses use to vent their anger andhostility. As research suggests, emotional dysfunction for the child can followhim or her far into their future relationships with others.
So Join us LIVE Thursday night at 9 pm Eastern.
Log into www.talkshoecom or call in at724-444-7444 talkcast ID 26868.
Never Give Up On Your Children! They need you,they are half of you, and they do love you! Please visit our Non-Profit websitefor further Educational Materials at http://www.theleepasfoundation.org/
Scheduled Time:Date: Thu, October 1, 2009Time: 09:00 PM EDT
How to participate:Call in:1.Dial: (724) 444-74442.Enter: 26868 # (Call ID)3.Enter: 1 # or your PINJoin from your computer:1.
Click here to join the call or just listen along2.(Optional) Become a TalkShoe memberFacebook user? You can join this Call directly through the TalkShoe CommunityCalling Facebook application.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
No more Gender bias!
My reasons for postinng these stories about wives being killed are to bring awaareness to the fact that its not just woman that are hurting men when it comes to difficulties in divorce or marrage. Im tired of the gender bashing, and I feel its time for people to realize that its not about gender, its about what is happening to the children!
Bail kept at $1M for suspect in wife's murder - NJ.com
Bail kept at $1M for suspect in wife's murder - NJ.com
Sponsored By:
INSIDE NEWS
• Times of Trenton News
Bail kept at $1M for suspect in wife's murder
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Lisa Coryell
SPECIAL TO THE TIMES
BY LISA CORYELL
TRENTON -- A Superior Court Judge yesterday kept bail at $1 million for a city man charged with murdering his wife and dumping her body in a Hamilton cemetery.
Prosecutors said a search of Clarence Kelsey's South Clinton Avenue apartment revealed blood evidence of a crime.
The 66-year-old is accused of stabbing Colleen Kelsey, 46, during a domestic dispute on June 20. He then left her body in the apartment for at least two days before dumping it in the North Crosswicks Cemetery, prosecutors said.
Her remains were discovered on June 28.
Kelsey tried to report his wife missing on July 17. Police searched his apartment after becoming suspicious that this missing person description was similar to the dead woman found in the cemetery, prosecutors said.
When confronted by the blood evidence in the apartment, Kelsey first told police his wife had stabbed herself, said Assistant Prosecutor John Boyle.
Kelsey later changed his story, saying his wife had pulled a knife on him during a quarrel and fallen on it in the ensuing struggle, Boyle said.
Prosecutors say Kelsey dumped some of his wife's wardrobe in a donation bin. A blood-soaked rag was recovered in a local convenience store, they said.
A defense attorney argued for a lower bail, saying Kelsey had no prior convictions, was the father of two and had served in the military in the 1960s.
When filing his missing person report, Kelsey told police had not seen her since June 19. He told police he had not reported his wife missing earlier because he believed she was in a drug rehabilitation program. But he filed a report after family members urged him to, he said.
Sponsored By:
INSIDE NEWS
• Times of Trenton News
Bail kept at $1M for suspect in wife's murder
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Lisa Coryell
SPECIAL TO THE TIMES
BY LISA CORYELL
TRENTON -- A Superior Court Judge yesterday kept bail at $1 million for a city man charged with murdering his wife and dumping her body in a Hamilton cemetery.
Prosecutors said a search of Clarence Kelsey's South Clinton Avenue apartment revealed blood evidence of a crime.
The 66-year-old is accused of stabbing Colleen Kelsey, 46, during a domestic dispute on June 20. He then left her body in the apartment for at least two days before dumping it in the North Crosswicks Cemetery, prosecutors said.
Her remains were discovered on June 28.
Kelsey tried to report his wife missing on July 17. Police searched his apartment after becoming suspicious that this missing person description was similar to the dead woman found in the cemetery, prosecutors said.
When confronted by the blood evidence in the apartment, Kelsey first told police his wife had stabbed herself, said Assistant Prosecutor John Boyle.
Kelsey later changed his story, saying his wife had pulled a knife on him during a quarrel and fallen on it in the ensuing struggle, Boyle said.
Prosecutors say Kelsey dumped some of his wife's wardrobe in a donation bin. A blood-soaked rag was recovered in a local convenience store, they said.
A defense attorney argued for a lower bail, saying Kelsey had no prior convictions, was the father of two and had served in the military in the 1960s.
When filing his missing person report, Kelsey told police had not seen her since June 19. He told police he had not reported his wife missing earlier because he believed she was in a drug rehabilitation program. But he filed a report after family members urged him to, he said.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Help Me Howard Comment
Posted by The Lee P.A.S. Foundation at September 25, 2009 11:17 PM
Howard,
We can’t thank you enough for inviting Dr. Amy Baker on your show. Her work is pivotal for parents and this has proven the result upon the children, is everlasting and emotionally damaging. This is a mourning process that never ends for not just parents but the children as well. It is very unnatural for a child who once had a loving relationship with both parents, to be forced to choose to love one and be angry and hate the other. This is not just a tit-for-tat spat between parents of divorce. It goes much deeper into a cycle of abuse that is learned behavior from past generations.
When I first met Dr. Baker, I had called her due to the fact that I too have been victim as well as my 4 children in an extreme case of alienation. I have joint custody and been denied access slowly over the years after the severe denigration against me. My children have been taught that humans are disposable. I am lucky enough that my youngest son has stayed strong and continued to not allow the anger to take hold and he has always spent time with me as all my children did from the beginning. He has been tormented not just by his dad for still being in my life but soon thereafter by the rest of his siblings. This has so far gone on for 8yrs. Recently, my older son (18) has moved in with me due to the fact that my ex threw him out of his home for talking to me and trying to mend our relationship. He has now been out casted by his father and sisters who refuse to talk with him at all. He has also had to deal with the guilt trips of his dad for being disloyal to him. Does that sound normal to you? The fact is that dad doesn’t have a babysitter for the younger siblings and can’t be the assisting parent to take the kids from point A to B. It is a typical Alienating factor to place guilt, and play the victim in need of help toward the children just to emotionally keep them and have control.
Through her guidance and education, I took it upon myself to learn as much as possible about this since the children are the true victims.
We now Moderate for the NJ Support Group for Parental Alienation in NJ and the tri-state area.
We have a Non-Profit Organization, which in now worldwide along with a weekly podcast radio show, for all targeted children, parents and extended families. I have presented in many places on the subject, including the Canadian Symposium last March. We have just recently started a new program of “Kids Helping Kids”, along with being involved in a research project with Dr. Douglas Darnall PhD, who is also an expert in the field.
We are also the NJ Representative for Lighting Candles Worldwide and Board of Director for Three sides To Every Story, another non-profit for Grandparents that have been denied access to see the children.
We have a Parenting Coach, and advocate that “Children need the love of both fit and loving parents” in order to lead a healthy life.
Too often we are receiving phone calls from children that are cutting themselves to stop the pain, have tried committing suicide in the past, suffering from depression, poor school grades and turning to alcohol and drugs.
In the same aspect, we are receiving devastating calls from parents looking for help, support and resources and are at wits end because they have not seen their children as court ordered.
It is unfortunate that there are so many families and children that are caught up in this sadistic epidemic that most Professionals refuse, pass you along, or try to help the children and families of Alienation since they do not specialize in this area, they can and have done more damage than good. The family court systems are not equipped to make correct and healthy decisions for these children because they are limited or blind to the fact that this is a true problem.
Is it healthy for a child to tell you to “Go slit your wrists and die, I don’t care if you breath anymore, I don’t need a Mommy/Daddy?”
Is it healthy for a child to state that “You hurt Daddy/Mommy because you took all the money and I hate you?”
Is it healthy for a child to say that “Mommy/Daddy says that we can’t see grandma and you anymore because you’re all evil since your rich?”
Is it healthy for a child to say “I don’t need you anymore, daddy will take care of us?”
This is a problem that needs more education for all levels of professionals. Starting in the schools with Dr. Amy Baker’s divorce program of “I Don’t Want To Choose” for middle school children. She is developing for Kindergarten and High school levels as well.
Educate the Forensic Specialists that have your children’s future in their hands to make the suggestions to the courts of “What is best for the children”.
Educate all Judges, Lawyers, GAL’s, Social Workers and don’t give as much power to the under educated Child Protective Services to take children away from a parent with unfounded accusations, or making life decisions that are actually exacerbating the Alienation of the child and parent relationship. This should only be allowed for Parental Alienation Experts to decide "for all court evaluations."
Education is the key, for children, parents, lay persons, and professionals. We intend to help and stay dedicated to Education on the subject of Alienation through our Foundation.
Thank you Dr. Baker! Thank You Howard! We need more open eyes to save the children from this emotional harm.
Katrina C. Daniels Lee
Founder/Exec Director
The Lee PAS Foundation 908-303-4817
www.theleepasfoundation.org
www.talkshoe.com Talk cast ID 26868
Howard,
We can’t thank you enough for inviting Dr. Amy Baker on your show. Her work is pivotal for parents and this has proven the result upon the children, is everlasting and emotionally damaging. This is a mourning process that never ends for not just parents but the children as well. It is very unnatural for a child who once had a loving relationship with both parents, to be forced to choose to love one and be angry and hate the other. This is not just a tit-for-tat spat between parents of divorce. It goes much deeper into a cycle of abuse that is learned behavior from past generations.
When I first met Dr. Baker, I had called her due to the fact that I too have been victim as well as my 4 children in an extreme case of alienation. I have joint custody and been denied access slowly over the years after the severe denigration against me. My children have been taught that humans are disposable. I am lucky enough that my youngest son has stayed strong and continued to not allow the anger to take hold and he has always spent time with me as all my children did from the beginning. He has been tormented not just by his dad for still being in my life but soon thereafter by the rest of his siblings. This has so far gone on for 8yrs. Recently, my older son (18) has moved in with me due to the fact that my ex threw him out of his home for talking to me and trying to mend our relationship. He has now been out casted by his father and sisters who refuse to talk with him at all. He has also had to deal with the guilt trips of his dad for being disloyal to him. Does that sound normal to you? The fact is that dad doesn’t have a babysitter for the younger siblings and can’t be the assisting parent to take the kids from point A to B. It is a typical Alienating factor to place guilt, and play the victim in need of help toward the children just to emotionally keep them and have control.
Through her guidance and education, I took it upon myself to learn as much as possible about this since the children are the true victims.
We now Moderate for the NJ Support Group for Parental Alienation in NJ and the tri-state area.
We have a Non-Profit Organization, which in now worldwide along with a weekly podcast radio show, for all targeted children, parents and extended families. I have presented in many places on the subject, including the Canadian Symposium last March. We have just recently started a new program of “Kids Helping Kids”, along with being involved in a research project with Dr. Douglas Darnall PhD, who is also an expert in the field.
We are also the NJ Representative for Lighting Candles Worldwide and Board of Director for Three sides To Every Story, another non-profit for Grandparents that have been denied access to see the children.
We have a Parenting Coach, and advocate that “Children need the love of both fit and loving parents” in order to lead a healthy life.
Too often we are receiving phone calls from children that are cutting themselves to stop the pain, have tried committing suicide in the past, suffering from depression, poor school grades and turning to alcohol and drugs.
In the same aspect, we are receiving devastating calls from parents looking for help, support and resources and are at wits end because they have not seen their children as court ordered.
It is unfortunate that there are so many families and children that are caught up in this sadistic epidemic that most Professionals refuse, pass you along, or try to help the children and families of Alienation since they do not specialize in this area, they can and have done more damage than good. The family court systems are not equipped to make correct and healthy decisions for these children because they are limited or blind to the fact that this is a true problem.
Is it healthy for a child to tell you to “Go slit your wrists and die, I don’t care if you breath anymore, I don’t need a Mommy/Daddy?”
Is it healthy for a child to state that “You hurt Daddy/Mommy because you took all the money and I hate you?”
Is it healthy for a child to say that “Mommy/Daddy says that we can’t see grandma and you anymore because you’re all evil since your rich?”
Is it healthy for a child to say “I don’t need you anymore, daddy will take care of us?”
This is a problem that needs more education for all levels of professionals. Starting in the schools with Dr. Amy Baker’s divorce program of “I Don’t Want To Choose” for middle school children. She is developing for Kindergarten and High school levels as well.
Educate the Forensic Specialists that have your children’s future in their hands to make the suggestions to the courts of “What is best for the children”.
Educate all Judges, Lawyers, GAL’s, Social Workers and don’t give as much power to the under educated Child Protective Services to take children away from a parent with unfounded accusations, or making life decisions that are actually exacerbating the Alienation of the child and parent relationship. This should only be allowed for Parental Alienation Experts to decide "for all court evaluations."
Education is the key, for children, parents, lay persons, and professionals. We intend to help and stay dedicated to Education on the subject of Alienation through our Foundation.
Thank you Dr. Baker! Thank You Howard! We need more open eyes to save the children from this emotional harm.
Katrina C. Daniels Lee
Founder/Exec Director
The Lee PAS Foundation 908-303-4817
www.theleepasfoundation.org
www.talkshoe.com Talk cast ID 26868
Friday, September 25, 2009
Dr. Amy J. L. Baker PhD on Help Me Howard WPIX Channel 11
Sep
25
Is Your Ex Trying To Ruin Your Relationship WIth Your CHild?
10:00AM September 25, 2009 comments: 27
How would you know if your ex-spouse is trying to ruin your relationship with your child. "It's called 'parental alienation'," according to Dr. Amy Baker, an expert in Developmental Psychology from Columbia University. "It's when a parent manipulates the child to reject the other parent.
According to Dr. Baker, "There's a lot of different ways to do it. Unfortunately the other parent doesn't always know. They might say, "Oh my ex doesn't have a picture of me in that house", and "Oh my ex is using a different last name from my kid." But they don't see the pattern. They don't see that the other parent has an agenda to turn your child against you."What are the reasons this happens?
Dr. Baker names some possible causes of this kind of behavior.
"Revenge, spite, jealousy, an inability to understand the child has a separate need."Parents should tell themselves, they may be thinking they hate that person but their kid still needs that person as a parent.
"Crummy spouses," she added, "can make pretty good parents."
Parents need to learn about parental alienation before it's too late.
"I can't tell you how many parents have said, "Oh my god, now I see what's happened but I've lost my kid,"" said Dr. Baker.
She urges parents to document every known parental alienation strategy their ex is using.Parents can go to court if they see a pattern; a pervasive pattern of the use of these strategies.Dr. Baker also cautions parents to use recommended responses.
"It's not always obvious what the right thing to do is," said Dr. Baker, "if your ex is bad mouthing you, or if your ex doesn't have a picture of you in the house; if they start using a different last name, it's hard to know what to do.
"Your kid could be living right next door to you, right across the street, in the same town as you, and if that child's been alienated, you're not going to have a relationship, that kid might as well be in Japan."
Be aware, document. Stay calm with your child.
It's important for the child that you be a reassuring, calm presence while this is going on." It's easy to lose your cool," said Dr. Baker. "What happens is your child visits the other parent then comes back to you with all kinds of accusations, lies, "why did you steal my college money, why did you break up the marriage."
"What happens is the parent that's being attacked starts getting very defensive, very angry, starts fighting with the child. You have to figure out how to get the truth out without bad-mouthing the other parent and without fighting with the child.
"What children remember is not the words, they remember the feeling of the relationship so if your ex is telling the kids that you're crazy you're unsafe, you're violent and you start screaming at your kid, saying, " I am not crazy. I am not violent", you've undone what you're trying to accomplish.
Your child is now feeling, this parent is making me feel bad, attacking me.
"Show that you are safe, show that you are loving in your actions.
"You also need," she continued, "to help your child develop critical thinking skills, so you can prevent your child from becoming manipulated. That's what parental alienation is, emotional manipulation, changing your children's thoughts.
Dr. Amy Baker is the author of Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome.She is nationally recognized as an expert in parent child relationships.
25
Is Your Ex Trying To Ruin Your Relationship WIth Your CHild?
10:00AM September 25, 2009 comments: 27
How would you know if your ex-spouse is trying to ruin your relationship with your child. "It's called 'parental alienation'," according to Dr. Amy Baker, an expert in Developmental Psychology from Columbia University. "It's when a parent manipulates the child to reject the other parent.
According to Dr. Baker, "There's a lot of different ways to do it. Unfortunately the other parent doesn't always know. They might say, "Oh my ex doesn't have a picture of me in that house", and "Oh my ex is using a different last name from my kid." But they don't see the pattern. They don't see that the other parent has an agenda to turn your child against you."What are the reasons this happens?
Dr. Baker names some possible causes of this kind of behavior.
"Revenge, spite, jealousy, an inability to understand the child has a separate need."Parents should tell themselves, they may be thinking they hate that person but their kid still needs that person as a parent.
"Crummy spouses," she added, "can make pretty good parents."
Parents need to learn about parental alienation before it's too late.
"I can't tell you how many parents have said, "Oh my god, now I see what's happened but I've lost my kid,"" said Dr. Baker.
She urges parents to document every known parental alienation strategy their ex is using.Parents can go to court if they see a pattern; a pervasive pattern of the use of these strategies.Dr. Baker also cautions parents to use recommended responses.
"It's not always obvious what the right thing to do is," said Dr. Baker, "if your ex is bad mouthing you, or if your ex doesn't have a picture of you in the house; if they start using a different last name, it's hard to know what to do.
"Your kid could be living right next door to you, right across the street, in the same town as you, and if that child's been alienated, you're not going to have a relationship, that kid might as well be in Japan."
Be aware, document. Stay calm with your child.
It's important for the child that you be a reassuring, calm presence while this is going on." It's easy to lose your cool," said Dr. Baker. "What happens is your child visits the other parent then comes back to you with all kinds of accusations, lies, "why did you steal my college money, why did you break up the marriage."
"What happens is the parent that's being attacked starts getting very defensive, very angry, starts fighting with the child. You have to figure out how to get the truth out without bad-mouthing the other parent and without fighting with the child.
"What children remember is not the words, they remember the feeling of the relationship so if your ex is telling the kids that you're crazy you're unsafe, you're violent and you start screaming at your kid, saying, " I am not crazy. I am not violent", you've undone what you're trying to accomplish.
Your child is now feeling, this parent is making me feel bad, attacking me.
"Show that you are safe, show that you are loving in your actions.
"You also need," she continued, "to help your child develop critical thinking skills, so you can prevent your child from becoming manipulated. That's what parental alienation is, emotional manipulation, changing your children's thoughts.
Dr. Amy Baker is the author of Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome.She is nationally recognized as an expert in parent child relationships.
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